Hurricane Rising
by Saya Moonshadow
Summary: The tears Lewa does not shed, the sky cries in his place.  Prequel to Dirty Window.  Lewacentric.


**I'm back to angst again, dudes...it's been raining on and off all day and it's seriously getting me down. My mood depends on the weather apparently XD**

**Disclaimer: Nothing is mine. It's just not. LEGO beat me to it. LEGO owns the right to this fandom, no, not even on Christmas can I legally own this fandom, NOOOOOOOO! -begins to curse- "Lies" belongs to Evanescence. OH! Kano and Lito ARE mine however. -hugs them-**

**Summary: The tears Lewa does not shed, the sky cries in his place. Prequel to Dirty Window. Lewa-centric.**

**Hurricane Rising  
By: Saya Moonshadow**

_Bound at every limb by my shackles of fear   
Sealed with lies through so many tears   
Lost from within, pursuing the end   
I fight for the chance to be lied to again._

There was an old legend in Le-Metru that talked about how when someone is dying, the sky cries. It just opens up and lets its tears come down, washing away all the pain and all the hurt in the world.

It rained a lot in Le-Metru those days, and I wondered why. I wasn't dying, neither was anyone else, as far as I knew. All the Le-Matoran (and me and Turaga Matau) were perfectly healthy. Even the old ones were healthy. Sickness was rare in Metru Nui, especially with the advanced healing that Gali could do.

Turaga Matau said there's nothing like letting loose a good cry, but I didn't think so. Every time he told me that, I gave him a smile and said that strong people don't cry. And he always gave me a pitying look, shook his head, and walked away.

I hadn't cried in a long time. Not since our first few months on Mata Nui, for certain. Why should I? I was Lewa, Toa of Air. I was strong. Toa are strong, and Toa don't cry. Sometimes I wanted to, but I still didn't. I wouldn't have anyone accidentally seeing and thinking me weak.

The rain beat down on me now, standing outside on an air dock. It was pouring, and I was completely soaked. I normally don't like water, but storms are just...beautiful. There's something thrilling about the way they crash and rage around you, and the way they howl and scream until the sun manages to peek through the clouds and banish it all away.

Here on Metru Nui, we had a Great Being that we worshiped, Mata Nui, of course. But in Le-Metru, the thing we most often offered our prayers to was the hurricane.

The hurricane, the mightiest of all storms. The wind that blows is strong enough to give a Kikanalo trouble. The rain comes down so hard that it stings, and the thunder is so loud that you can't hear yourself think. And the lightning is bright enough to blind you. The wind howls and tears at you as you run from it and seek shelter.

Everyone sought shelter from storms.

_You'll never be strong enough   
You'll never be good enough   
You were never conceived in love   
You will not rise above._

Not me, though. I loved storms, all kinds of them. Tornadoes, hurricanes, typhoons, monsoons, sandstorms, snowstorms, thunderstorms, any kind. You name any kind of storm, and I would love it.

Most of all, I loved the wind. The wind is wild and free, and during storms, it is even wilder than it usually is. I was the wind. I was the Toa of Air, and I controlled the wind. But I was nowhere near being free.

My smiles were fake. My heartbeat was dull. My so-called "friends" hated me. And the person I once thought to be my best friend hated me more than he's ever hated anything else in this world. We were different, Kopaka and I. He was the ice, I was the air. Ice is strong and sturdy, air is flowing and has no defined shape. Ice is cold and hard. Air is light and free.

Just thinking about him hurt me more than anyone will ever know.

It's no wonder that I worshiped the hurricane. Someday, I wanted to fly with it, have it buffet me back and forth, but ultimately overcome it. I wanted to see the eye of the hurricane and see whether it really is quiet like everyone says. I wanted to see how lightning is made and to know why it and thunder don't come at the same time.

I wanted to ride the wind and be free, just once.

I would have gone and done that right now if it weren't for the chest pains that seemed to plague me every now and again. They were rare, but they hurt quite a bit, enough to nearly immobilize me from time to time. My katanas were sheathed on my back as usual, waiting to be used. I couldn't use them though; it hurt too much to fly right now.

_They'll never see    
I'll never be   
I'll struggle on and on to feed this hunger   
Burning deep inside of me._

Sometimes I felt like I was dying. I only felt like that when it rained though, which always reminded me of the old legend. It was like the tears that I couldn't shed, the sky cried in my place. I don't know how to explain it, and even to my own ears, it sounds corny.

The hurricane was now stronger than it was before. It must have been getting to the middle of its show, the hardest part to endure. The sky lit up with lightning, trees from the nearby forest were being ripped up by the wind, and the lightning rods that Turaga Matau insisted upon having were being struck every few seconds, it seemed. Good thing we had those. Kept anything else from being struck.

Like, say, the only one stupid enough to stand out in the middle of a hurricane. Me.

The wind was blowing so hard now that I could hardly stand. I shielded my eyes against it and squinted out into the rain though it smarted. My eyes were streaming because of this. It's like when you get something in your eye and your eye keeps watering until you get that little annoyance out.

For some reason, instead of going back inside like I should have, I found myself instead unsheathing my katanas and putting them into the flying position. My faithful wings had never let me down, but could I do this? This is first class hurricane; the strongest the city has ever know was what the Matoran were saying.

_But through my tears breaks a blinding light   
Birthing a dawn to this endless night   
Arms outstretched, awaiting me   
An open embrace upon a bleeding tree._

I didn't care.

I leapt off the dock and into the storm. The wind immediately picked me up, rolling me around and buffeting me back and forth like I knew it would. It carried me up without my even having to flap my wings or direct it to do so.

Where was I going? Where was it taking me? Lightning came so close to me that I could feel the heat. I hoped I don't get hit...

Rain rendered my eyes useless, and I was forced to use my ears instead, but even that was no good because the wind and thunder were so loud that I couldn't hear anything else. And even though it was loud, it was the best music I've ever heard in my life.

And suddenly, it all stopped. The wind, the lightning, the thunder, everything, all of it just stopped. I had to flap to keep afloat, and when I opened my eyes, I was shocked to see myself in a swirling vortex of clouds. The only sound was that of a soft almost shush-shushing sound of the clouds swirling together. Outside, I could still very faintly hear the storm raging on.

_Rest in me and I'll comfort you   
I've lived and I died for you   
Abide in me and I vow to you   
I will never forsake you._

This was the eye of the hurricane, that I'd always longed to see.

It was beautiful.

"_Lewa...Lewa Nuva..."_

Someone was calling my name now...someone I couldn't see. I didn't know who or where they were, but right then I didn't care. They were saying my name without contempt in their voice, and that was all that mattered.

"I'm here." I said back. "I'm here."

"_Lewa..."_

I didn't know who it is, but I didn't care. The way they said my name was comforting, like the way a father would to a son. It was the way Turaga Matau said my name. He was the only one to speak it so kindly, with the exception of this voice. I never knew it could be said quite like this, though. If I could, I'd listen to it for the rest of my life.

"_Lewa, my brave one...listen and listen well."_

"I'm listening." I said.

_They'll never see    
I'll never be   
I'll struggle on and on to feed this hunger   
Burning deep inside of me._

The voice gave a small chuckle, and I smiled. _"Your sorrow will end soon, and your brothers and sister will love you with all their hearts. They will love you as much as I do, and more."_

I felt my eyes brimming with tears, but I wiped them away quickly. I was strong, and I didn't cry.

"_The sky cries in your stead, Lewa...tell me why this is so? Tell me why it is that you constantly feel so sad? Why is it that the face of one so young carries so much sorrow?"_

The tears were dripping down my face now. This time, though, I didn't bother to wipe them. "Because it hurts. It's why anyone feels sad, because they hurt."

"_But WHY exactly do you hurt, my brave one? What could make you hurt so much that the rain comes down nearly every day?"_

I had no answer to that except the truth. "Because they hate me. My brothers and sister hate me. That's why I hurt." I felt like such a child, whining like this. Further proof of the weakness Kopaka so often accused me of.

But HE didn't think so.

_You'll never be strong enough  
You'll never be good enough._

"_Soon, they will love you as much as I do, and more."_

"How do you know?!" I shouted, suddenly angry. "How can you possibly know?! I don't matter to them; they have Takanuva to replace me now! What do I matter anymore?" It was true. Takanuva's coming had made my already shaky status in the group go down even more. When he came, the dislike my teammates already seemed to have for me only increased. And despite all that, I found myself unable to hate him. It just wasn't in my nature to hate.

"_All the world's creatures are my children, and every one of them has my love. What I love will surely be loved by something else. No one thing can be hated by everything. Even the Makuta has beings that love and look up to him."_

I was silent.

_You were never conceived in love  
You will not rise above. _

"_You have no idea how much I love you, my brave one. You, the bravest of the Toa Nuva. The one who has gone up against his own darkness not once, but twice. The love I have for you cannot be matched by any, my child."_

"I'm not your child." I snapped. "And how can you love me? I'm useless. Useless things aren't loved."

"_All the world's creatures are my children, and every one of them has my love."_ he repeated. _"You are one of those children, and I love you as such. Is it so hard to believe that someone loves you, Lewa? And several useless things are indeed loved. Look here..."_

The clouds swirling around me started to form a picture, of a small Le-Matoran child, hugging and talking to what seemed to be a worn-out stuffed Kikanalo. Next to him stood a slightly older Ko-Matoran child, smiling down at him fondly. The scene was silent, but I knew that the two children were having fun by the smiles on their faces and the way they moved.

_Me and Kopaka?_ I thought, feeling my tears coming back. _No...he wouldn't look at me like that... _"Who are they?" I asked to distract myself from the thought.

"_They are of the future, named Kano and Lito. Lito is the child with the toy, Kano is the Ko-Matoran. To you or I, that toy may seem utterly useless, but still Lito loves it and keeps it safe. To some, you may seem utterly useless, but there are others who love you for who you are."_

"Is he...one of mine?" I asked, pointing at Lito. Lito...what a nice name. It fit the child perfectly. "My...son or whatever? He looks just like me..." And indeed he did. The same green Miru, although his was a regular one and not a Miru Nuva. But he looked like a much smaller version of my Toa Mata self, right down to the yellowy eyes.

"_No."_ he replied. _"He is not your son, nor is he related to you in any way, Lewa. But he will have more of an impact than you think. And though you will never meet him in the flesh, Lito will love you as well."_

_Rest in me and I'll comfort you  
I've lived and I died for you._

The scene changed, to a cloudy day. I saw myself kneeling in a graveyard, surrounded by tombstones. I couldn't see which one I was looking at, but I doubted it mattered.

There was a battle against Nui-Jagas, dozens of them. I watched myself dash forward and throw myself in front of Kopaka, getting bitten on the shoulder by one in the process.

And then I was on the floor of my hut, kneeling and picking up several shards of glass. As I watched, I saw my vision-self get cut on the finger and the knees. I sighed. Typical of me to kneel in glass shards.

It was something only I, Lewa Nuva, can accomplish, apparently. Stupidity is a curse and a disease all in one. Kopaka often said that when he had a stupid moment that I was rubbing off on me and then treated me to a nice frosty glare. It was a saying that had recently been picked up by the other Toa as well. As annoyed with it as I was, I could do nothing to stop it. They would do as they pleased, and I would have to sit back and simply take it. Unfair, but it was the way we worked. Or rather, the way THEY worked. I doubted they even counted me as one of their number anymore.

Why should they have?

They had darling Takanuva to back them up now. A Toa of Light was worth so much more than a Toa of Air who can't take care of himself, after all. If I were them, I'd probably feel the same way. Useless things can never be loved, and I was useless, no matter what I tried to pretend otherwise.

_Abide in me and I vow to you  
I will never forsake you._

I saw the scene change to pitch black. I was floating in this absolute black, my eyes closed. A green glow was next to me, and I saw my eyes flutter open weakly and I spoke.

And then I was falling, falling, falling, to where, I had no clue. But I was falling, and I was falling fast. And hard. The look on my face was of absolute terror. I didn't blame myself - it sure looked like I was in trouble.

Then I was lying in a bed, staring out of a filthy window into a blue sky. I saw myself cough and clutch my chest, grimacing painfully. It wavered for a moment, and Kopaka was leaning over me, holding my hand and talking to me, but my eyes were closed. And then I opened them and spoke back.

I allowed myself to smile for a minute.

And once again, it changed. This time, though, it was raining very hard. It was the Temple courtyard, and my brothers and sisters were gathered around a long black...thing. The six Turaga and Dume stood in front of the black thing, and Dume seemed to be speaking. The whole of Metru Nui, it seemed, was gathered around them, heads bowed.

I frowned as it disappeared, leaving only the swirling clouds again. "What was that?"

"_It is what you choose to make of it."_ the voice replied. _"The love they have for you will become apparent, my brave one."_

"I'm not brave." I said. "That's Tahu's thing. I'm just the idiot who gets into trouble and has to be rescued by Onua."

He chuckled. _"Do you know why I call you that, Lewa?"_

I shook my head no.

Did it matter?

I didn't particularly care, so long as he wasn't mocking me.

Something told me he wasn't, but I wasn't so sure. There was just something about his tone, the way he spoke to me, the way he said my name with such kindness. I liked it, but I wasn't so sure I trusted it.

What if it was just a trap to lure me into a false sense of security?

_Don't be stupid,_ my rational side snapped. _Of course that's not the case - why would this thing bring you here just for that? If he had wanted to kill you, he would have done so a long time ago, probably by having you fried by that lightning._

I could imagine it, being zapped. The electricity coursing through me, charring my insides...it made me shudder. How terrible would that be, to die that way? In so much pain? I've seen lightning strike victims, and it wrenches at my heart strings, seeing their bodies. They all look so scared.

I hoped to never be that scared in my life. Just the thought of being that scared frightened me. What in the world could do that? Scare someone that much? Not even the Rahkshi or the Makuta himself had inspired that kind of fear into our people, and lightning strike victims all looked absolutely terrified.

The thought of my people in so much fear angered me.

The voice answered, _"Because that's what you are. The bravest of my children, to deal with such despair and not buckle under it...my brave one."_ I was sure that if I could see him, I would have seen him smiling. _"The bravest of the Toa Nuva is Lewa."_

I frowned, but didn't approach that subject again. "How will I know when they love me?"

"_You will just know."_

The hurricane was beginning to dissipate; the clouds' swirling was becoming slower and slower. I could hear the rain lessening, and the thunder and lightning had completely let up by now.

"_Go home, my brave one, and rest. Your sorrow will end soon, like I said. And you will see clearly the love the world has for you."_

I didn't know how I got back to the dock where I had first been, but I did somehow. It was still raining lightly, but the hurricane of before was gone. The wet on my cheeks wasn't rain, but I pretended like it was nonetheless.

I could only wonder when this love would come along.

A month later, I broke my mirror and knelt down to pick the shards up.

_They'll never see    
I'll never be   
I'll struggle on and on to feed this hunger   
Burning deep inside of me._

X x X

**END.**

X x X

**AN: Argh...angst, angst, angst. I LIKE MY ANGST, OK?! Haha. The song didn't really fit, but I don't care. I can see it playing during this fic, so nya.**

**We had an assembly about the Columbine school shootings today, which might also accredit to my crappy mood. Maybe.**

**Review, please!**

**Edit: Fixed some time-tense errors and changed the song, because the first one I used didn't fit XD**


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